BEFORE YOU COOK: Butter a 3-quart casserole and set aside. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and set rack at center.
COOK THE BROCCOLI, CAULIFLOWER, AND ONIONS: Bring a large pot of well-salted and peppered water to boil; add the broccoli, cauliflower, and onions. Reduce heat and cook at a low boil, stirring occasionally, until vegetables are nearly tender – between 5 and 10 minutes. Drain well and pour into the greased casserole dish. Set aside.
MAKE THE GARLIC CREAM SAUCE: In a small cup, stir together the 2 tablespoons of flour, ½ teaspoon salt, ¼ teaspoon pepper, and the 1/8 teaspoon ground cayenne. Set aside. Melt 4 tablespoons of the butter in a 2 or 3-quart saucepan over medium heat. Add garlic and cook, stirring, for a minute. Whisk in the flour mixture and cook a minute or two to make a light roux. Whisk the warm milk in slowly and cook until thickened, continually whisking. Remove from heat and add the pieces of cream cheese. Cover for a few minutes. Whisk until smooth.
ADD THE SAUCE TO THE VEGETABLES/TOP WITH BREADCRUMBS, CHEESE, AND PEPPER/ BAKE/SERVE. Pour the sauce evenly over the vegetables in the casserole dish and mix lightly. Mix the melted tablespoon of butter into the breadcrumbs and sprinkle on top of the vegetables. Sprinkle with the Parmigiano-Reggiano and a few last grinds of pepper. Bake 30 minutes or until hot, bubbly, and crispy at edges. Serve hot or warm.Store leftovers well-wrapped for 3 days in the refrigerator. Do not freeze.