Bacon-Pimento Green Chile Cheese

In the southwest U.S., cheese and chiles go together like copy and paste. Usually it's a heated or even baked dip but I've been, for a few years, mixing it up with the south's famous pimento cheese. (One really shouldn't screw around with Pimento Cheese, but I do and beg forgiveness.) As a Coloradan, I several years ago went in with a small can of green chiles tossed into the basic mix. Another time, half-pound of cooked shrimp snuck into the bowl along with a little garlic, Dijon, and lemon juice. Today, salty-crunchy bacon finally arrived for the addictive win. By now based very loosely on the lovely original Pimento Cheese by the Lee Brothers of South Carolina. Thanks!

This recipe halves easily.

makes one quart (64 tablespoons or 32 (2) tablespoon servings)

Ingredients

1 pound (about 4 cups grated) Extra-sharp Cheddar cheese- coarsely grated
1/2 cup (4-oz) softened fresh goat or cream cheese
4 oz can (about 1/2 cup) mild, diced green chiles-drained well and pressed with paper towels to remove excess moisture
4 oz jar (about 1/2 cup) chopped pimentos-drained well and pressed with paper towels to remove excess moisture
3 scallions-thinly sliced
1 small, plump garlic clove, minced
5 tablespoons mayonnaise
1 tablespoon --or less--Dijon-style mustard (optional)
Pinch EACH: kosher salt + fresh ground pepper,
¼ teaspoon crushed red pepper
A few drops of hot sauce such as Tabasco (optional)
3 slices bacon, crisply fried and chopped finely or crumbled

Instructions

Add all ingredients except bacon to the bowl of a standing electric mixer (or use a bowl with a handheld electric mixer or mix by hand if you're strong!) and mix first on low and then on medium for a minute or two until well-mixed, smooth, and spreadable. (Add a bit more mayo if too thick. Add the hot sauce if you'd like more heat.) Add the bacon and mix on low briefly. Taste and adjust seasonings.
Serve with crackers or fresh veggies, toast points, tiny hot biscuits, grilled baguette, squishy white bread, or firm, thin slices of cornbread. Stir into scrambled eggs or use as an omelet filling. Spread on the bread for a BLT or layer on a bun for a grilled chicken sandwich. Dream on.
Store tightly covered in the fridge for 3 days or freeze for up to a month. Thaw overnight in the fridge before serving.

Notes

Note: You might grate the Cheddar in the food processor but don't mix the whole shebang there; it will be be too smooth or dippy. A standing or hand electric mixer is better -- or your own strong arm.